My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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