Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize