Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
its liver damage thursday
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