Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Mom said you looked used
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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