oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I need to sanitize my soul.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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