Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
