Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
