there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
