If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
