well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
