I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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