the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
