yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize