My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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