Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
