I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
