It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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