Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
