The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
