Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
