he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
