Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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