question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
