The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
