Well apparently he's into motor boating.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
This couple is walking their pig around campus
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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