Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
