I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
