hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
