since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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