I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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