we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We have started to decorate penises.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
