There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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