My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
