Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Don't make out with my wife yet
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
