i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
