I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
