I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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