seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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