My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
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