handjob tips. give me some.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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