I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
