About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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