Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
