I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
