One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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