Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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