Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
