I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
