At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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