Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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