Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
