i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
