he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
